I'm doing ok

Well hello there. It's the holiday weekend! I'm not slack about posting, but I've been a tad bit busy with my social life as of late. No worries, I'm still here.

But first things first. I'm still hittin it on the eating thing *fist pump* I think I'm most proud of going to a tailgate and not eating excessively. Did you hear me? I SAID I WENT TO A TAILGATE AND ATE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON! And I was satisfied. I was pretty happy with how I did that on satuarday. Before I left, I did manage to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich along with a few pretzels. I did that on purpose because I didn't want to gorge on the unknown food that was going to be at the tailgate. While I was at the tailgate I had 2 chicken finger and small scoop fulls of the various things that were around. Again, did you hear me? I SAID 2 CHICKEN FINGERS!!! *doing happy dance* I was pretty proud of myself to say the least. And get this, I drank water. WATER I SAID! whoo! I'd be lying if I didn't say that I looked at the skinny wives I was with to check out what they were eating and I mimicked them.

I didn't know how else to do it.

But the whole weekend, where I was out of my element i.e. home, I was successful. I can tell you that.

Unfortunetly, the working out didn't really happen this week. I got in one day and that was about it. My goal is 4-5. oh well. No, no oh well. I'm a little disappointed that I didn't at least make a larger effort to get it in, but I DID stay on top of my eating. And that is always a bigger battle. So while I'm disappointed in myself, I'm happy that I didn't say to hell with my eating too. I'll try to do better this week.

And darn it if that scale didn't show a loss or a gain on thursday. WTH? I'm heading into week 4 of doing all things right but most labels and nothing. I've got 2.6 loss to date. I guess that's good right? No, that is good. I need to accept that it is good. But you know when you are working hard and doing "everything" right, you want to see that change. And the fact that I'm still 3.8lbs over my most recent low kinda sucks and still quite honestly makes me cry. That's just being real. Over the last hmmm week or so, I think I've had about 2 breakdowns from realizing what I've done to myself. It's so disheartning. BUT, I'm trying to change my thinking and focus on the positives that I'm doing with my lifestyle. So, I'm eating and doing right and the scale will eventually show right? RIGHT?

I can tell you this though. I feel SOOO much better. I know I've read that sugar is metabolized out of your body within 48 hours. That's a load of crap. I just don't feel better for at least 3-4 days later. I feel like it's after that that my body releases those water molecules that the glucose holds on too. I'm still a long way from being completely detoxed, but I tell you one thing. GOD I feel so much better. And everytime I think I'd be ok and sneak a bit of sugar, I get a horrendous headache and I'm naseous. That'll learn me. But I feel heavy again. I think that's just some of the food I've eaten over the last few days. Although it's been portion control, it's not clean eating like I have been so I'm feeling that heavy feeling.

So this week, I'm going to focus on continuing the food and getting in the activity. I'm even thinking about going back to the old faithful The FIRM for the next 3 months until I start training for the half-marathon. Couldn't hurt right?