RANDOM

random #1

So is it supposed to be harder?

Again, all I keep hearing is that this nursing program is hard. uh. yea. I get that. Now do I think it's going to get harder? of course. But do I believe that if I keep studying, working hard and doing what I'm supposed to be doing it will get easier. UH YEA.

so quit telling me it get's harder douche. You're trying to scare me and really, it's not working.

random #2

I should probably make this it's own little post. But there's this little thing called a HALF MARATHON that I registered for again. I seriously need to get on that. Next month (at the end of the month), I'll begin training for that fateful day. I do plan to not die at the end like I did last year. Unfortunetly, I'm ohhh 35lbs heavier so that means I'm 35lbs slower. *kicking rocks* training is sooooo gonna hurt.

random #3

people are still stupid. And I miss updating this blog as much as I use too. Nursing sucks in this particular aspect.

for reals?

I should be studying. I mean literally. I study pretty much 4-5x per week a couple hours a day.





But that's not why I'm over it. I'm just over people. It's not secret to any of my *good* friends that I'm not a people person. Yea, I admit it, so what. I tend to not like people, write people off if they hurt me, write them off if they have no business about themselves or anything. To be quite honest, I enjoy my time alone. I'm ALWAYS on the go go go so it doesn't bother me to be by myself (I'm excluding the man here. I love him and love being around him no matter the mood).

That's Jordan. My baby. My spoiled rotten black lab who is now 1.6 years and about 80lbs. (this pic he is about 7 months here so he's a tad bigger and longer)

But seriously. As of late I have also been accused of leaving my dog outside to hang himself. Really? really? My backyard is all of 2ft long and 2 ft wide - exaggeration, but exceptionally small. Jordan couldn't even get a full run on if he wanted too without running into a fence. But yet and still me putting him out on his leash to roam his little area that he has leaves him depressed, in despair and at risk of hanging himself because he deserves better.



do you see my face?



God forbid I actually need to clean and move some crap around and put him outside to get fresh air...because you know he so untaken care of with that doggie daycare he goes too 2-3x a week and living inside my home spoiled rotten and having his grandma come steal him away on a regular basis because she loves him too. I mean he's so unkempt! Shame on me!



Then, in other little comments. Bursting my bubble. Really? really?



Is bursting MY bubble necessary? And people wonder why I chew them up and spit them out, write people off and not think twice. There are very few people that I can honestly deal with on a regular basis. And if you are one of them, consider yourself lucky. Yep. I'm sounding full of myself on purpose. Maybe I'm being moody, but yea. I'm gonna go with a no. Time is one of *the* most valuable things you can give a person. That's my opinion. And right now, my time is precious. If you even remotely read this, you know that.



Everyone else can suck it while I get mine. And then you'll be wishing I dealt with you.



*finger*

and this is why we can't rise as a people

yep. it's thinngs like this that make you question bringing children in this world. So I'm out doing my 5 miler race with my newfound friend of a friend. We are laughing and walking briskly and just having fun. Literally motivating ourselves to let this be the kick off of getting us back started. Even recruited a random lady named Holly who was having a tough time going by herself.

Out of no where...a jeep rolls by and screams: GET A TREADMILL!!

really? like we haven't thought of this fabulous revelation. And clearly walking on a treadmil with a number on our front accomplishes the task of being in a RACE. douchebag.

So I'm sending out this PSA. If you know a douchebag or know someone who knows a prick. I implore you to call them out and relieve them of their prickiness. It is now your civic duty if you choose to accept the task. And for the record...you need to just accept it.

God I hate people. But I completed my race dammit. happily walking at 1:21. suck it.

*falling out*

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****1 day break****

Tour DaVita pics!!

it's me in our lovely jersey :)

we would literally turn corners or have straightaways with breathtaking views. On this one we came out of a residential neighborhood to this...Lake Michigan.

bikers at the finish!! there was someone behind me passing off beers lol awesomeness

one of my favorite pictures of the backroads crew (the crew that supported my company in this whole event).

bikers for days! it was pretty awesome. This was the first 2.5 mile stop at a facility. Things usually spread out when we got rolling.

it's Tent City!! (that blue tent is the cell phone charging station)- this was broken down and set up at EVERY city stop we made for 3 days. It was an amazing production.

the goodies!! (jersey {which they wash for you}, hat, shirt, bag {not pictured are pins at every stop and a medal at the end})

they fit you right there if you don't ship your bike

the arrival. My company sure does know how to celebrate :)

thanks jordan

It's 330 am and I've been up for 30 min already. I guess this is the heavens cruel practice for my clinicals that are coming up in november.
Not cool man.

But really, I'd rather have a dog that rings the doorbells for me to let him out rather than one that craps in my house. Right? RIGHT?! Even if it is 300am in the morning and I'm wide awake annnnd hungry. That last sentence made me realize 2 things; this is going to be a long day and this sucks.

On the other hand, I'm still really sad. I wonder if I'm pmsing as to why I feel all sensitive. (I know I know I should know but I've been earlier than usual for thwe past 2 months-so I have no idea when she's coming) I have no idea where to begin to fix this. I was going to add that one unhappy thing is not in my hands, but if you really think about things EVERYTHING is in your own hands.It's all about choices. I just kind of feel like my life is coming to a complete stop or pause when it should be continually moving forward.

Does that make sense? Is this normal? Should our lives have intermittent pauses? I can honestly tell you I have never had a pause like this because I was continually goal setting and acheiving. So I don't know if this is normal.

Like after nursing, I have no goals (I'm a goal setter). I have no idea what's next for me. Maybe part of my problem is that I just need to learn to be in the moment instead of looking ahead.

Jesus. I have just made myself more confused.

Can anyone provide some insight or your opinions on this matter? You can do it anonomously too if you like.

Thinking at 330am hurts. It doesn't help that my dog is snoring. That bastard. I'm going to watch DVR.

p.s. I will still post pictures later from the ride.

wow. life has gotten so hard

it's been so busy. I came back and basically I've been trying to put myself back together on some sort of routine. It was hard after being away and travelling for nearly a week and a half. Sometimes just getting off of your routine can really just throw you off. Then Tuesday I started school - can we say WORK?! School and work is gonna be really really hard/long this fall. It really sucks ya know. heh, I said hard and long. *snort*

But I just came back from not only a momumental bike ride (I'll post the pics tomorrow), but I just came back from a beautiful wedding of my cousin to his girlfriend (to which I will not post pics :) You'll have to trust me when I say my family is gorgeous. Seriously.

Despite being around all of the happiness and joy that I've experienced this week, I am overwhelming sad about my current state. It has to do with several areas of my life, but the end result is that I am sad and have been sad since May 2009. Sad to the point where I could cry everyday. You could probably call it depressed but for some reason I haven't come quite to the point of accepting that within myself. I don't know why and for some reason I cannot shake it. But I am completely sad. I don't really think there is an area in my life right now that makes me happy and fufilled. I would say that I'm happy at times, but trully happy - meh.

And this concerns me. Right now. I'm just functioning.

And the sad part is, that no one really knows...purely because I'm just THAT good at hiding it.