it's been so busy. I came back and basically I've been trying to put myself back together on some sort of routine. It was hard after being away and travelling for nearly a week and a half. Sometimes just getting off of your routine can really just throw you off. Then Tuesday I started school - can we say WORK?! School and work is gonna be really really hard/long this fall. It really sucks ya know. heh, I said hard and long. *snort*
But I just came back from not only a momumental bike ride (I'll post the pics tomorrow), but I just came back from a beautiful wedding of my cousin to his girlfriend (to which I will not post pics :) You'll have to trust me when I say my family is gorgeous. Seriously.
Despite being around all of the happiness and joy that I've experienced this week, I am overwhelming sad about my current state. It has to do with several areas of my life, but the end result is that I am sad and have been sad since May 2009. Sad to the point where I could cry everyday. You could probably call it depressed but for some reason I haven't come quite to the point of accepting that within myself. I don't know why and for some reason I cannot shake it. But I am completely sad. I don't really think there is an area in my life right now that makes me happy and fufilled. I would say that I'm happy at times, but trully happy - meh.
And this concerns me. Right now. I'm just functioning.
And the sad part is, that no one really knows...purely because I'm just THAT good at hiding it.
My Big Bite
12 years ago
Well EYE know. Sands, this is uncool. You have so much going for you that sadness shouldn't ever enter your mental space. I'm gonna call and cuss you out about this later this weekend. Expect it!
ReplyDeleteI'm here if you need to talk! Hang in there girlfriend!
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