She's getting way too close.

Have you heard of her? Ruby?

She's the big lady in the middle. *And for the record, I myself hate being called *big girl* HATE*

Well, Ruby is a reality tv show person that is on this journey to lose weight. How much? We don't know. But enough so that she can where normal size clothing and lead a normal life. She was once mroe than 700 lbs but she's now somewhere around 338. She's lost all the weight the old fashion way of hard work and dieting. So why am I posting about her?

She makes me nervous. I hate that that woman is so close to my own personal weight. I mean she's not close close, but she's close enough ya know? Heaven forbid that she keep dropping weight at the rate she does, she'll be my weight before you know it! And that, makes me nervous. I don't like looking at her and then thinking that's where I am or "do I look like that?" I don't like it at all. For the record, I don't. Clearly, I mean it's all in the blog and such but that number. THAT FLIPPING NUMBER. I have nothing against the woman, as I actually watch the show. I mean I could do without all the singing of the words and the southern drawl, but it is actually a good show with a concept. But her NUMBER is getting too close for comfort to my number.

I did it though. It's clear that I don't know what I need, but I need to do something. Bare with me people...I'm in the contemplation stage - I'm trying to figure out how to tackle this beast *again* without stressing myself out. It seems this go around I'm more worried about stressing myself out with trying to "fit in" the workout than anything. Be patient with me, I'll find my motivation again. In the meantime I need to stop eating completely. Otherwise my clothing is going to rebel even more so. And after a full month of inactivity in July - I seem to have lost my way and my motivation.