What is it? Why is it?

That's the question that I've recently been asking myself on a daily, maybe even hourly, basis as of late. What is it? Why is it? Why is it that I continue on this cyclical path? Why is it that I continue to eat what I do? What is it that is truly bothering me that I continue to eat? For years you've always heard that the eating and the weight is psychological. I'll venture to say that this is the first time I'm actually starting to accept that theory. Speaking for myself, I've always said that it's not psychological, hell I just love to eat. But no. That's just not it anymore. I mean I love to eat, yes. But I also love to eat the healthy food. If I had my choice, I would eat the healthier foods like what I had tonight: brown rice, cabbage and chicken breast - as simple as it sounds it's one of my most favorite meals. (my other favorite is sweet potato plain, cabbage and salmon - YUM).

I know that I don't feel good when I eat the processed foods. Now do I believe there are some technical issue like a lack of portion control that contribute to my inability to grasp the whole weightloss journey - of course. But it's the WHY that I haven't seem to got. And this time around, I just refuse not to know why. I mean I could mask it and focus hard enough and lose the weight like I did the first time; but, that would just be masking the situation right? Then in 3 years I'd be back in this same position. lame.

Well I'm sorry, I refuse to go down like that. I ain't doin this crap again. period.

So ask yourself if you are going around in a circle - WHY are you doing that? It may not even be with weightloss. It could be with men or your job or whatever. Thus, in the meantime I'm going to keep probing and brainstorming aloud. I mean, I'll hit the nail on the head one day right? As long as I continue to think about why I do what I do as I make forward movement, I'm bound to be successful. Hell, I deserve better. My unborn children deserve better. I flat out refuse to be the unhealthy mommy. RE.FUSE.

We have to learn the Why's people. It's just not enough to solve the problem anymore. We are way to complicated just to throw a bandaid over the issue.

What's your why?