Still believing

Whooo! You guys, I'm actually doing this. I am rocking my "kitchen". yea, that's what I'm going to start calling eating right. It's clear that I love the activity, but it's the eating that I'm actually doing right. And despite what the left side of my brain says, I AM going to talk about it. It's the only way that I can stay conscious of it.

I am still believing.

I am still believing that I can do this. That I am not destined to be this size. I am an unhealthy person who is truly trying to embrace some healthy habits. And no, I may not be able to eat that piece of cake today because I have a goal. But that doesn't mean that i won't be able to have cake for the rest of my life. Nope, no siree. That's not what this means at all. It just means that I have a goal and sometimes that will mean not eating cake. And I *think* i'm ok with that. Don't get it twisted, I WILL NOT BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME. But right now, I accept it. But the bottom line is I'm feeling strong and in control. I can feel my body cleansing itself of the sugar - that evil crack cocain addicting substance. And again, this doesn't mean I won't fall of the wagon. I'm not that perfect ;) But it does mean that I understand that if I do, I have to get right back on the horse tomorrow - as hard as it is. I have too. I just refuse to accept that this is my destiny. REFUSE. I wanna get married. I want to have babies. I want to shop in all the stores. Accepting that being fat is ok is not an option. It's hard, but I'm doing it.

I can't tell you how proud of myself I've been over some of the choices that I've made this week. No need to be specific, but I did it. Cake and all ;) Still managing to bust out a loss.

I wonder what I can do by December? Freak that. I wonder what I can do by tomorrow. Sometimes thinking ahead can get you in trouble. But whatever you do, just don't stop believing. (remind me of this when I need it ok?)

back to studying (hence my self induced hiatus - 2nd nursing exam monday {15 chapters baby})